How to identify your needs.

If you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed, burnt out, exhausted, or just straight up frustrated and ready to make change - try this little tip I'm about to lay on you below.

Let me set the stage first. If you're anything like me, I often have no idea what I actually need. I get overwhelmed by my emotions, responsibilities, and to do list that I feel stuck and I don't know how to even move forward.

Identifying what you need can be a game changer as far as moving you closer to where you want to be. In order to get where you're going, you first need to identify where you're currently at. Looking at yourself in the mirror is not easy, but it's necessary for growth.

As a leadership coach and team development coach, I find myself asking my clients this one question a lot: what do you need?

I often get blank stares in return.

"Well, that's a good question", most of my clients say to me in response.

It is a good question and one that gets overlooked way too often.

Let me break this process down for you into 3 easy steps:

1. Identify your need (hint: use the needs list below)

2. Share your need with a trusted friend, boss, coworker

3. Accept your need being met

If you've read my bio, you know I'm studying for my master's in Organizational Leadership with the incredible leader, Dr. John Townsend (co-author of Boundaries with Dr. Henry Cloud), which is where I get a lot of this juicy content from! He has a list of 21 Relational Needs, if you wanted to check that out too. Okay, shout out done.

Here we go!

Step #1: Identify your need

Choose ONE need from the list below.

1. Acceptance

2. Affirmation

3. Clarification

4. Comfort

5. Challenge

6. Wisdom

7. Feedback

8. Encouragement

9. Forgiveness

10. Celebration

Step #2: Share your need with a trusted friend, boss, coworker

Now this is the tricky part. Sharing your needs can be hard, scary, challenging. But this will help, I promise. Call your best friend or ask to meet with your boss. Have an honest conversation.

It might look something like this.

"I've been feeling pretty discouraged in my master's program lately and I really need some encouragement so that I can keep moving forward with this goal."

Step #3: Accept your need being met

In response, your friend or boss might say something like:

"I want you to know how proud I am of you for going back to school. I don't think I could do it! You amaze me every single day by your ability to manage your time and still get A's in your courses. Keep it up."


Getting your needs met can be LIFE GIVING. It can literally change the direction of your day, week, month and keep you on course in pursuit of your goals.

So, want to give it a try? Go for it!

xx, M.

P.S. if you want more support in your life and leadership - shoot me a message here.

I practice this stuff in my own life, study it in my spare time, and have invested in many women to help them to enhance their quality of life.

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